Kissmas, Kenya, and Cookies

So, I know its been a while since I blogged. Here is my only explanation...

NOTHING interesting has happened in my life AT ALL! I have been sitting my fat butt on the sofa watching TV and chewing bones, and that's nothing to write home about, my friends.

Mom and M.G. have been so busy doing all their piddly little human things, that my social life has been put on the backburner for now so I can keep an eye on them and make sure they don't have a seizure or something from all the craziness.

First mom was busy making all of these shiny things. For weeks, all she did was take one shiny rock or crystal or bead, and then attach it to another shiny rock, crystal, or bead. And that's all she did. All night long. For DAYS!

We got no long walkies. We got no playtime. We got no car rides. We got nothin'.

My friend Billy came over while mom was making her shiny things, and then they put them on our heads like little tiaras or something.

Mom and Billy's mom Morgan were highly amused. We, however, were not.

Here is Billy, unamused.

She finally stopped making all the shiny things two weeks ago, so I was excited to have our life back to normal. But then all she could focus on after that was something about Nakuru, Kenya, Africa. And so for days, she's been all "Oh, blah blah blah Nakuru, Kenya, Africa" this and "Yada yada Nakuru, Kenya, Africa yada yada" that. She keeps talking about packing, so I'm assuming this means we are going somewhere. Yay! I love trips! It's about time...I've been ingnored for too long!

So when mom isn't blah-blah-blahing about Nakuru, Kenya, Africa then she is yada-yada-yadaing about Kissmas. She kept talking about how she has to get home and rap. Then something would come up, and she couldn't rap. Then she would plan to rap again, but then something else would come up. I don't know why she is so stressed about rapping...I thought my mom liked folk music best. I guess she changed her mind, because she is really into this whole rap thing now.

And when she isn't rapping, she's talking about presents (lots for me, I hope), and food (again, lots for me, I hope), and cleaning (certainly not of me, I hope). But she isn't talking about kissing much at all for Kissmas. I love kisses! But mom doesn't seem to stressed about it, so I guess she is expecting lots of kisses on Kissmas and doesn't feel the need to stress over it.

Also, lots of talk about Kenley and Dave coming. Kenley is mom's sister...they were pups together. And Dave is her mate. Which means they agreed to only hump eachother for the rest of their lives, and no one else. And boy, them must like to hump A LOT, because they already had one pup, and now they are going to have another one!

And if Kenley and Dave are coming, that means they are bringing my cousin, Pig. Pig is a French Bulldog, with wicked nasty farts, and a penchant for humping mom's arm. Even after they got his jingle-balls removed, he still likes to hump her. Gross.

And if Kenley and Dave are coming, they are bringing their pup, Harper. And mom is very excited about that, since this is the pup's first Kissmas.

So, I guess I can report back later on about my fabulous upcoming trip to Nakuru, Kenya, Africa and about how Kissmas goes. And if you think about it, get my mom some good rap cd's for Kissmas.

- Wicket the Dog